Open Road
by Believe78
Summary: A view into the future of Alicia. Rewritten first chapter after certain events in the show.


Recent events made me rethink this story and I rewrote some parts to make it fit to follow what is happening in the show at the moment.

I hope you'll like the new spin to the story :)

And as always, don't own them

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She stepped out of the elevator, crossing the hall to the door quickly. She reached for the doorbell but retracted her hand just before it made contact. She closed her eyes, shaking her head at herself, her sudden nervousness of the evening that lay before her. The thought of turning, stepping into the elevator again and calling to make her excuses about an emergency at work from the safety of her car crept through her mind. But she couldn't do that to her daughter, not at her engagement party. She took a deep breath, reaching her hand out again, determined to push the bell this time, when the sound of the elevator doors opening behind her stopped her once more.

"Alicia!" the sound of her mother's voice made her turn.

"Hi mom." she stepped towards her mother, hugging her briefly. She felt a bit relieved at the sight of her. Now she wouldn't arrive alone at least. The question why it mattered this much crossed her mind again. Was it sheer habit as she wasn't used to attend family gatherings on her own. Or did she already regret her decision that none of her family even knew about. She was determined not to say something tonight, not wanting to draw the attention away from Grace and Jason. Her news could wait.

"Are you on your own? Where's Jeff?" Veronica asked, watching her surprised.

"He couldn't make it. Last minute emergency with an important client." she was surprised how easy the lie rolled off her tongue, even face to face with her mom. All she hoped for was that her expression matched her casual tone. She had gotten used to lying over the phone about Jeff's absence, not having seen any of her family in the previous weeks.

"Oh, that's a shame." Veronica said disappointed, turning to ring the bell.

"Finally you're here." they were greeted by Owen, who opened the door. "I don't know anyone in there aside from your ex-husband." he grumbled towards her.

"Hello Owen. Nice to see you, too." she replied sarcastically to her brother's welcome while he hugged their mother. She got rid of her coat and walked further into the apartment to find her daughter and her future son-in-law. She scanned the people, nodding and smiling to a few she knew but always on the look-out for Peter's tall figure while Owen's words rang in her ears. _'...aside from your ex-husband.'_ She had known he'd be here, that nothing would keep him from attending his little girl's engagement party.

Finally she found Grace and Jason surrounded by a couple of their friends.

"Hi mom!" Grace walked towards her, hugging her closely.

"Congratulations!" she kissed her daughter on the cheek, holding her a little longer than necessary, once more painfully realizing she wasn't her little girl anymore but a grown woman about to start her own family soon. She loosened the embrace, not ashamed of the tears she felt rolling down her face. She turned to Jason, hugging him too.

"It's ok, Alicia. I'll treat her right." Jason reassured her.

"Yes, mom. Dad already gave him the talk."

"He did?" she stated surprised. It was rather ironic to imagine Peter telling Jason to better not mistreat Grace considering his own track-record on how to bring a marriage to the verge of falling apart. Deep down they both knew that this had been the beginning of the end of their marriage though they had tried to fix it. Peter's infidelity had shifted her life in another direction and she hadn't been willing to steer it back.

Especially not after Will's death. She knew she had hurt Peter with her decision back then and it had taken him a long time to realize she wasn't gonna change her mind about their marriage. A divorce then and there would have been the cleaner cut but the pain about Will's passing had drained her and she had no strength left to make it through that process. In a way she had been thankful to Peter for making that decision for her and file for divorce after a while. They had never talked about what drove him to make that step but she assumed he had given up hope she'd come around and give them one more chance. So he had set her free from her self-chosen confinement in a marriage that no longer deserved that name. She should've been relieved the day she signed the papers but all she could feel was regret about closing a chapter in her life that hat lasted for over 20 years and sadness about chances not taken along the way that might have led her down a different road.

She resumed her maiden name and threw herself into her work until about a year later Jeff walked into her life. It hadn't been love at first sight but started out as friendship that slowly turned to feel like she could spend the rest of her life with him. She sighed deeply when she thought about how wrong she had been once more.

"You know that dad is here, right?" Grace interrupted her train of thought and brought her back to reality. She nodded slowly.

"So, where is your brother? He is here, isn't he?" she was hastily changing the subject.

"Yes, the last time I saw him was in the kitchen with dad." Grace gestured into the direction of the hall and Alicia made a mental note to stay clear of the kitchen for now.

Contact with Peter had been scarce already while the kids had still been in school and college then faded nearly completely after Grace had graduated. The last time they had seen each other had been a few months ago but then Jeff had still been at her side and it had merely been a quick hello in passing at some function they had both attended. She knew tonight wouldn't be the same. It was a small party and chances were high they couldn't avoid each other completely.

"Here you are." Veronica exclaimed behind her and she stepped out of the way for her mother to greet and congratulate the happy couple.

"Where's your husband?" Owen's words next to her ear made her jump.

"Owen!" she nearly shouted at her brother. "You startled me."

"I'm sorry." he pouted, lowering his glance. "But I brought you a drink." he offered her his glass of red wine, which she took, raising an eyebrow at him.

"So, where is Jeff?" he repeated his question. She swallowed hard on her first sip of wine, trying to smile while she told her brother the same lie as her mother why Jeff wasn't with her.

"Ok, as always the job comes first for you lot. I still can't believe you married a lawyer again." he said sarcastically. "So, you just forgot to wear your wedding band or is there anything else I should know?" he mentioned casually, his glance locked on Alicia's left hand in which she held her glass.

"What?" this time she nearly choked on her wine. Coughing she switched the glass to her right hand, staring down on her empty ring-finger. She cursed herself for forgetting to put it back on. She had taken the ring of after delivering the papers to court and never worn it since. She had wanted to wear it tonight, just to make sure no one asked her why it was missing. But she was already used to not wearing it so it had slipped her mind.

"Oh, I must have forgotten to put it back on after I showered." she shrugged, hoping her brother would believe this lie as well.

"Well, that happens." he nodded and Alicia sighed quietly. She wasn't sure she'd withstand further interrogation by her brother.

"Excuse me, Owen. I want to look for Zach. I haven't seen him yet." she left her brother but with no intention to search for her son. She needed a few moments to herself and headed towards the bathroom. Unfortunately it was occupied, so she went into her daughter's bedroom, yearning for a moment of solitude. She closed the door, resting her back on it, exhaling deeply.

"No. We'll talk about it on Monday. I'm staying in Chicago over the weekend." her head spun around though she didn't need to see who was with her in the room. She'd recognize his voice everywhere. Peter. He stood at the window, his back to her, his cell in one hand and she somehow knew he was talking to Eli. She thought about the number of times she had watched him talk to Eli on the phone and a small smile appeared on her lips. It seemed like he hadn't noticed her presence yet and she thought about leaving the room before he did.

"Ok, Eli. Do what you think needs to be done. Good night." he turned and her chance to leave had passed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop." she smiled apologetically at him.

"You couldn't. Just Eli going crazy as always." he chuckled, walking towards her.

"Hi Alicia." he hugged her and she couldn't help but notice he still used the same aftershave. She inhaled the scent deeply, trying to ignore the feeling of familiarity it stirred in her.

"Hi Peter." she stepped back, breaking the embrace, smiling faintly at him.

"Do you need to make a call? Should I leave you alone?"

"No." she shook her head. "I just needed to get away for a moment." she gestured with her head towards the door.

"Your mom? I take it she hasn't changed." he smirked.

"No and I doubt she ever will." she laughed.

"Like mine. She has no idea what year it is but she still criticizes me for my bad taste in ties." he joked but she could see the sadness in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. The kids told me she is in a nursing home now." she told him in a low voice. He just nodded and she took it as a sign he didn't want to speak about this topic. She knew that Jackie and her views had annoyed him for most of his adult life but he loved her dearly and seeing her losing her mind had to be heartbreaking for him.

"So, are the rumors true? You might be the next presidential candidate of the Democrats?" she steered the conversation into another direction.

"Since when do you believe in rumors?" he winked at her.

"Well, it's all over town, Peter! Everyone's just waiting for the announcement. Is that what Eli's going crazy about?" she teased him.

"Don't believe everything you hear on the street. I haven't decided yet." he stated more serious this time.

"Why?" the question was out before she had thought about it. Her curiosity had taken over though she knew that his motivations were no longer of her concern. He didn't reply for a while.

"You don't have to tell me, Peter. I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry." she broke the silence.

"No, it's ok. Actually I'd like to hear your opinion on it." she nodded at his words, telling him to go on.

"I'm not sure I can even win the nomination. For once I'm not married nor in a relationship. And when was the last time a single was elected for president?"

"That's your only concern? No wonder Eli is going crazy." she chuckled.

"Well, if that's not enough they'll bring up my past again. Reheat the scandal." he went on, ignoring her teasing.

"That's old news, Peter. No one will care." she replied in a more serious tone.

"It might be here in Illinois but not for the rest of the country."

"Is that all that makes you hesitate? You shouldn't. Run, Peter. Give it a try. We both know you want to." she smiled at him encouragingly.

"Will you still think like that when you and the kids get dragged into it again? The scandal won't be old news when the political opposition ignites the press's interest and they start digging again. I can't do this to you and the kids once more. Not to mention what your husband would've to say about you being in the press again."

She inhaled sharply as he mentioned Jeff, watching Peter in silence for a few moments.

"You got reelected twice, also unmarried, Peter, and I don't think the scandal was ever an issue again. But I get your point and I thank you for even considering it in your decision-making, but if that's all what's keeping you from running I have only one advice for you: Run." she paused for second.

"And Jeff is no longer of any concern." she added under her breath. She saw him raise an eyebrow at her last words, apparently not sure if it was ok to ask her for a reason.

"Why?" he whispered after what felt like minutes elapse in silence.

"I filed for divorce a few weeks ago." she finally said it and it wasn't as difficult as she had imagined. She still wondered why she had even brought it up, why she had allowed the conversation to arrive at this point. There had been no need. She could've ignored Peter's statement about Jeff but she had commented on it and anything than admitting the truth now would've been shallower than the white lies she had told her family.

"I'm sorry. But why?" he asked but shook his head immediately. "No, you don't need to answer. It's none of my business."

"It's ok, Peter. It just didn't turn out like I wanted it to, or rather how I had hoped it would. I realized this quite some time ago but didn't do something about it. But I couldn't go on lying to Jeff and least of all to myself. No one knows yet that he moved out." It felt good to say it out loud. She hadn't talked with anyone about this, the decision had been hers alone and she didn't regret it like she had thought earlier. The reason for her nervousness lay someplace else. Surprisingly she felt a tear roll down her cheek. A tear she wasn't crying out of sadness about what she had just admitted to Peter but for the untold words she wasn't ready to share with anyone just yet. Least of all with him.

"I'm sorry." he murmured again and she felt him closer but couldn't remember seeing him step nearer. But there he was, inches away from her so she could smell his aftershave again. Suddenly she felt his thumb brushing off the single tear from her face. She wanted to step back but she seemed unable to move. His hand lingered on her cheek, finally moving away to push a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She peered up into his eyes, which watched her in a mixture of sympathy and worry. All she needed to do was lift her head to get their lips to meet. It felt tempting and the memory of thousands of shared kisses flooded over her. Eventually she moved her head a little, seeing a glimpse of surprise in his eyes. But he stood still, like telling her silently that anything that might happen was up to her. She felt her heart thunder in her ears as she slowly moved closer, their eyes locked and her lips only inches away from his.

"Mom?" Zach's voice from outside the door brought them back to reality, making them jump away from each other.

"Yes?" she called back, feeling light-headed and confused.

"Grandma is looking for you. She wants to take pictures of all of us together." Zach told her through the still closed door.

"I'll be out in a minute. I'm just finishing a call." her eyes were locked on the doorknob, hoping Zach would leave now and not enter the room.

"Ok." her son replied and she heard his footsteps as he walked away from the door. She exhaled deeply and heard Peter do the same next to her.

"I think I should head outside before my mother comes herself to check on me. And we can be sure she won't stay outside." she didn't bother waiting for his answer, she headed to the exit to get away as she felt he'd want to talk about what just nearly happened and she wasn't sure she could do that now.

"There you are." her mother's accusatory tone greeted her outside.

"Have you seen Peter? Grace wants him in the pictures too." Veronica went on but Alicia just shook her head.

"Good. Then we'll make them without him." her mother smiled as they walked away but Alicia hoped Peter had heard them.

She knew he had when he joined them in the living room just moments later.

"I heard I'm needed for pictures." he came walking towards them, smiling brightly at Veronica and winking at her when no one else could see it. She smiled back at him and was glad that the next half hour passed by with shooting pictures in various combinations of the attending family members including Jason's parents and siblings.

She tried not to think of what had driven her to nearly kiss Peter earlier. She'd deal with it once this evening was over and pushed it to the back of her mind. It worked quite well until Grace wanted a picture with just herself and her parents. And so she found herself next to Peter, something she had managed to avoid in the previous pictures. But soon she felt his palm on her back and the fragile paper-wall, she had built around all the feelings, thoughts and doubts the almost-kiss had stirred up in her, was torn and all that emotional chaos swept over her anew. She tried to stay calm but it got more difficult by the minute to keep smiling for the camera. So she literally fled from Peter's side as soon as Zach, who had taken the last round of pictures, told them he had enough.

She quickly involved Jason's mother in a conversation about the upcoming wedding and they were soon joined by Grace who told them about a dress she had seen the previous week during her lunch break. Time flew as they discussed decorations, food and the perfect number of bridesmaids and it was way after midnight when she checked her watch. She looked around the room where only few guests were left. Her mother and brother had said their goodbyes earlier but she hadn't seen Peter since they had shot the pictures. Part of her hoped he had left and she didn't need to face him again but another part felt disappointed that he might have left without saying goodbye.

She turned to Grace to tell her she'd be leaving. They hugged and she left the room, waving to Jason and Zach who sat together on the couch. She walked down the hall to get her coat when she nearly ran into Peter who just walked out of the kitchen.

"I thought you had already left." she told him, avoiding to look into his face. He was too close again and if this night had taught her anything, it was that she couldn't trust herself near him.

"I was about to go. You?"

"I'm leaving. Good bye, Peter." she peered up into his eyes and thought she saw a flicker of sadness at her rather formal words. It wasn't what she really wanted to say but she failed the courage to voice what went through her head.

"Could you wait a moment? I had hoped we could talk." he watched her hopefully while she just stood there, not sure how to answer.

"Please?" he added when she remained silent.

"Ok, how about you walk me to my car?" she finally said.

"Sure." he smiled at her.

She got her coat while he headed back inside to say goodbye to Grace and Zach and joined her a short while later outside the apartment. The elevator ride passed in silence.

"No security tonight?" she asked him as no bodyguard hurried to their side and no car waited with running engine at the curb when they stepped out to the street.

"No, I sent them home a while ago. I'll take a cab." he replied and she just nodded. They walked in silence and had almost reached her car when Peter finally spoke again.

"About that..."

"I'm sorry for what nearly happened earlier, Peter." she cut him off turning towards him.

"Don't be, Alicia. Nothing really happened and I won't mention it again if you don't want me to." he smiled at her and she felt grateful that he gave her an easy way out of this.

"Thank you. I'm not sure what happened there..."

"No need to explain. It's ok and not what I wanted to talk to you about." he interrupted her and she was glad about it as words failed her to explain what she had felt earlier.

"You didn't?" she stopped, watching him surprised.

"No. I wanted to ask how you're doing. Wanted to make sure you're ok."

"Oh!" she was slightly taken aback by his words. "I'm getting there. Thanks for asking."

"Well, if you ever need to talk, you still know how to reach me. That's if you don't think it's weird." he flashed her a half-smile.

"No, I don't think it's weird, Peter. Maybe we can go to dinner some time?" she asked, charily returning his smile.

"I'd like that, Alicia." he smiled brightly this time. They walked the few more steps to her car in silence again. They said their goodbye and she drove off, glancing in the rear-view mirror, seeing him still standing at the same spot looking after her and she couldn't help but smile.


End file.
